DEAR ABBY: My wife has been away for a while caring for her sick parents. Because I was on my own, I decided to experiment with wearing women’s clothing and found that I really liked wearing leggings. They make very comfortable pajamas. I’ve also found that sports bras not only provide nice to the touch compression, but also serve a purpose, as I have rather enlarged breasts. Should I hide everything and put away my leggings and bras, or should I tell her some of my secrets? — DRESSED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR DRESSED: I don’t know what other “secrets” you were hiding, but if they involve cross-dressing, you’re not the only man who’s discovered that he likes to wear women’s clothes. It may surprise you to know that their wives help them do this. Your reasons for wanting to wear a sports bra and leggings seem practical. I see no reason to try to hide it from your wife.
DEAR ABBY: I am a widow. I wrecked my car four months ago and asked a friend, “Stan”, what kind of help my husband would have provided. Stan was great and did so many things. I felt bad that he refused my offer of money, so one day I took him to lunch.
A few weeks later he invited me to dinner and took me to my favorite steakhouse. He and his longtime girlfriend were breaking up because she was selling her house and moving to live with her son. We started going out to eat once or twice a week.
Abby, after two months, he disappeared! I think I fell in love with him without even realizing it. Now he leaves every weekend, and I suffer so much. I try to free myself. How could I fall in love so easily? – I did not expect that
DEAR DIDN’T EXPECT: You were vulnerable, and Stan was there and seemed willing to step in and fill the void left by your husband’s death. That’s how you fell in love with someone who was, I guess, a longtime trusted friend.
Stan may have met someone, has other commitments, or just didn’t feel ready to make one with you. That he didn’t give you a reason for his disappearance is disappointing, but it does happen. Please don’t worry about it. You haven’t done anything wrong. These disappointments are part of life.
DEAR ABBY: I was married to a verbally abusive woman for 49 years. To the outside world, she seems perfect, but behind closed doors, she’s mean. She reacts angrily to the slightest problem and jumps down my throat when I ask her the simplest question. She complains about my memory and hearing problems. I am 75 years old and in good shape except for a belly which she often makes fun of. I recommended couples therapy, but she refuses to go. Help me please. — SOLD OUT IN ARIZONA
DEAR EXHAUSTED: Therapy would be a good idea. Because your wife is refusing to go, you might benefit from talking to a mental health professional. While it won’t solve his problems, it might help you get to the bottom of yours. Chief among them would be figuring out why you tolerated your wife’s verbal abuse for nearly half a century and deciding what, if anything, to do about it. Please don’t wait.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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